Bottom line, does negativity make you a bad person?

Negativity doesn't make you bad

Are negative people necessarily bad? What sins are they committing to term them wrong? Let’s talk about something that no one talks about often.

We always talk about positivity, positive people and the light that they share with others. We rarely think or speak about negativity or negative people. We are not talking about it, not because we don’t have an ounce of negativity in us.

It is the other way around. We think by speaking about negativity or negative energy, we get succumbed to a black hole. It’s a common misbelief that thinking about negative energy could take you into a path of no return.

We indeed manifest the energies that we think about for a long time. When you fail harder, there are two ways to channelize your inner thoughts: either you can take it as a stepping stone and work harder to achieve success, or you could consider that you’re unfit for the project and move on.

The more you focus on one kind of thoughts, those thoughts become your energy, and it becomes your actions. Perhaps, that’s why we are afraid to think about negative energy and emotions, because we don’t want to become gloomy, depressing and failed people in life.

Soil vs Us: Plants vs Life

Soil vs Us: Plants vs Life

Tina always collects her eight-year-old daughter Susan from the bus stop adjacent to her house every evening. Her daughter jumps to Tina’s shoulder from the school bus, after she sees her, and waits, to wave bye to her friends. It seems to have become their routine, and one day, Tina notices a boy sitting all alone at the back of the bus.

After Tina and her daughter gets home, she slowly asks about the boy to Susan. “Oh, that’s moody Evan,” Susan says, “We don’t talk to him because he is bad.”

“How?” asked Tina.

“He doesn’t like to talk to people. He looks sad, always, and doesn’t want to play with us. He is bad, Mumma.” says Susan.

“Alright, why don’t you go and change your dress? I have something good planned for the evening that we can do together.”

After a while, Tina brings Susan to the garden with some seeds and a watering can. Susan enjoys her gardening time with her mom.

Tina gives half of the seeds to Susan and asks her to plant them somewhere nice. Tina does the same to her part of the seeds. Susan finds a damp ground under a big tree to plant her seeds and waters it after seeding it.

“It is a sunflower plant, Susan. I hope you take care of it properly, so you can enjoy it flowering and growing beautifully,” said Tina to Susan.

After several weeks, Tina brought Susan again to the garden where they planted their seeds. Tina’s plant has grown beautifully and had a flower, whereas Susan’s was dried up and looked dead.

Susan felt sad and asked Tina why her plant didn’t grow like Tina’s. Tina, then, said:

“You planted your plant under the tree, and it didn’t have sunlight to grow. Also, you didn’t water the plant or take care of it after you planted it. So, it naturally wilted and got dried up from the root.”

Susan now listened carefully to Tina, and so, Tina continued:

“Plants need good soil, atmosphere, water, and a lot of attention. Anything might stop the plant from growing well. We, humans, are the same too. We are like the soil in which our life grows. We are not the sole reason for our life, happiness, sadness, success, and failure. It also depends on the people around us. When you see a plant that grows well, all you need to do is water it, remove the weeds, show it to sunlight and take care of it.” said Tina.

The next day, when Tina received Susan at the bus stop, they waited, as usual, to wave bye to Susan’s friends. This time, though, Susan craned her neck to the back of the bus and shouted, “Bye Evan” Evan smiled and waved back at her.

Negativity is not equal to bad

We all have bad days. We make bad choices often. Bad moods, draining emotions, and dark thoughts often occur to all of us. We aren’t protected exclusively from negative energy; nobody is.

Like the soil that makes the plant grow, we are all working harder to make our life beautiful. When the plant doesn’t grow well, the soil is not bad. It is unhealthy, that’s all.

You can’t expect a plant to flourish in an unhealthy environment. Instead of discarding the soil, you will have to check how to strengthen it. Similarly, when life goes unplanned, making you feel unhappy emotions, you are not a bad person. You are unhealthy.

When you meet a sick person, would you wish him to die or recover soon? Negativity makes a person and people around them ill, like flu. It is contagious, of course, just like any other energy.

It’s the energy that needs to be stopped, diverted, and channelized, not the person who’s carrying it. It is important to remember that a person is not the sole reason for his/her energy. A lot of factors, including people around them and the situations, constitute their energy.

What should you do when you feel negativity in your aura?

A lot of people would suggest ignoring or concentrate on positive feelings, moments, and emotions. As much as it helps, it won’t solve the problem of having consistent negative energy around us.

Look beyond what you are feeling at the moment. Any energy that you have will have a cause, a source, and a reason. Finding the root cause of a problem might make you realize the validity of your emotions. If your emotions are valid, then you can leave the emotions as it is.

For example, when you see someone treating a salesperson unfairly, the anger you feel at the moment is a negative emotion (or unhappy emotion). But the response is right at the situation, and you need not be bothered about your aura.

I used to get angry and irritated a lot before, and then I feel tired and exhausted even more. I wasn’t able to even indulge in a normal conversation without snapping at my friends or anyone. Analyzing the situations that made me angry, I found a pattern of getting irritated when I was hungry. From then, I made a conscious choice of carrying at least a bar of chocolate in my handbag always. One step away from anger that causes me stress and exhaustion.

Bottom line,

We are not bad, just because we exhibit some negative emotions. Some days or weeks aren’t favorable to us, and we might become a huge ball of negativity. It is only important to feel it, analyze and release ourselves from it.

There is no need to feel guilty about it. Compare those days to being sick. Why would you want others to forgive you when you get sick? Life happens in the most unexpected ways.

It is okay to wake up, not open the curtain, hear Ed Sheeran and become a sad puny ball. It is also okay to head for the hills, disengage from everyone, take a break and return.

A gentle reminder to those who are experiencing a bad day: Those who love us for who we are will stay, despite the struggles and trials we go through. Walk until you find light, spread when you find it.

Have a good day.

With love,

Sahana, aka The Tummy Mummy.

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